Nagninilay-nilay sa madaling araw... Alas tres mahigit na. Nagising ako bigla kaninang 2 am. di ko napatay ang computer. di ko din napatay ang tv. inantok ako habang nanonood ng fear factor. ngayon, dapat matutulog na ako e. kaya lang tentasyon tlga tong computer. tsk tsk. mamayang umaga, kapag sumikat na tlga ang araw gagawa kaming research paper proposal... sna matapos.

madami akong nararamdman ngayon. guilty ako. nasasaktan ako. nagsisisi.

Sometimes I want to stop how I feel... how I think... how I care... about this person.

But stopping would just lead to something undone.

I'll just continue what I do now.

I'll never expect anything.

Just let everything pass.

The day I saw him, I thought he was so fragile. So fragile that I was too afraid to handle him for I thought  I could break him. But I was wrong. He's one of the strongest persons that I've met. Now, I'm not afraid to handle him anymore.

Malapit ang christmas. Nice. Sana madaming regalo ang makuha ko. Di joke lang. Christmas na! Di ko pa rin maramdaman.Siguro kasi di pa maganda ang lights sa UST. At di ko pa nakikitang umilaw ang Christmas Tree sa may field.

So eto ang wishlist ko. Sa mga nakakabasa nito, that is, kung may nagbabasa man, read on. Baka may balak kayong bigyan ako ng regalo. Haha. joke lang.

Simple lang.
    1. Ayos na sakin ang isang christmas card or letter. ayos na yun. mahirap na ang buhay ngayon. Kesa naman umasa pa ako diba. Haha.
    2. Gusto ko isang shirt. siyempre ung masusuot. i prefer t-shirts with cool prints on. ex. artwork haha
    3. Gusto ko memory card para sa phone ko. 256 MB lang ata to e. Sony Ericsson k800i phone ko. Cge, hanapan nyo na ako hahaha. Gusto ko 1 gig. haha.
    4. Stuffed toy na pagong. :)
    5. Bagong piggy bank. o kahit anong alkansya na cute ang itsura. Ayoko nung cylinder-shaped na alkansya. Pwede ba. Haha. Kung gusto nyo lagyan nyo na ng pera sa loob. Haha.
    6. Gusto ko ng ipod. kahit anong ipod. makikinig lang naman ako. :)
    7.  Gusto ko ng cake. Blueberry cheesecake or choc mousse.
    8. gusto ko ng pabango. perfume. basta gusto ko kahit isang araw akong di maligo mabango pa rin ako. ahahah
    9. bracelet na silver. ung plain lang.
    10. Gusto ko ng books. About ancient egyptian civilization na nakita ko sa powerbooks. basta about history ayos. pwede rin yung true philippine ghost stories. wala pa akong nababasa mula 16 and up
    11. gusto ko ng telescope and microscope
    12. gusto ko ng keychain na kotse.
    13. bag. ung messenger bag... basta bag
    14. paborito kong kulay ang red and black kaya kung anuman ang bagay bagay na gusto nyong ibigay, ayos kung ganon ang kulay. :D
    15. 1 year supply ng fit and right hahahaha

cge alis muna ako. may homework pa ako!!!!!!! bye!!!

   

   
basta ayun. gusto ko ng maagamit ko. thanks :D hehehe...

LOVE IS
    .. inevitable.
            We live because of love and live through because of love and live longer because of love and we live for love.
    .. unexpected
            We love the people we are with. We love the people who are around. We learn to love the people we didn't use to love. We become in            love with people who we weren't really expected to love.
    .. hurtful.
            They say when you love, you become hurt. I say it's part of life. It's a cycle. You become hurt to be healed. When you're healed you                     learn. And when you learn, you learn what to do next time. And when you learn what to do now, you can love again. When you get                     hurt, try again.
    .. never tiring
            When you love someone, you never get tired of loving them. When you get tired, maybe it's not love. Or one day, you may get tired of                 loving but the care never gets out of the context.
    .. happiness.
            Ever wonder why you always smile whenever you're with him/her?
    .. understanding.
            Understand the person, understand his ideas, attitude, hopes, dreams and struggles. Learn to understand even without the expression             of words. Understand each other and you'll never go wrong.
    .. RIGHT THERE.
            Don't overlook everything. He/She is just there.

       Last Friday, we did a slide smear from our cheek cells in our Biotech class. I thought it was very easy. This and that. And I also thought that we would all be finishing it in less than an hour. BUT HELL NO. It was difficult. Especially when I can't even see a single cell from my cheek. From 7 AM, we all finished at 11AM. It was ok. I mean, I enjoyed the lab, at least. But what am fearing is not the grade that I will get for that activity (I KNOW I'LL GET A LOW ONE, SO, NO HARM DONE). What I fear most about, what my heart is racing like thousands of horse powers for, what makes me turn pale and grow cold and what makes me feel like I'd rather die than to be alive next FRIDAY. Why? BECAUSE we'll be doing a BLOOD SMEAR. OH MY GOSH. I can't believe it.

    First encounter with the Fucking Blood Sucking Injection. I was in fourth year and I had a high fever. I was having a terrible headache also and I was rather pale. So my dad decided to get me to the hospital and have me checked. So I did not attend class and went to the hospital, thinking that I would be better rested there, and of couse, I liked being away from class. Then suddenly, Papa said that I would get my blood extracted for it to be analyzed. So I went a LITTLE PALE, thinking that it was only an EFFING NEEDLE that would prick my finger. BUT CRAP. NO IT WAS NOT. IT WAS THE BLOOD SUCKER. A FAT INJECTION. WITH A BIG NEEDLE, LIKE A STRAW. maybe i'm exaggerating. Haha. But it seemed like that. So I was seated at this chair. and my hands were tied on each arm. It was like a scene of someone before being executed on an electric chair. SO there I was, seating in front of my dad and the other medical employees. The one who was going to extract my blood was holding the BLOODSUCKER. And when I saw how big that effing bloodsucker is, I turned really pale. Then he said, "Ma'am, madali lang po ito". He searched for a vein in my arm and had a hard time finding it since my arm was filled with adipose. Thank god for that. It prolonged my time of being bloodsucked. Then finally he found it! and raised the bloodsucker. As I saw the blood sucker nearing my arm, I lost consciousness. And after a few seconds, I think? I finally woke up to find my dad still in front of me, and also the other employees. "Ayos ka lang?" they all asked. I was a bit drowsy. "Nasaan ako?" Then they told me "Nahimatay ka". "Ah talaga?" I thought that it was a good thing that I lost consciousness. Maybe my blood was extracted already so I wouldn't feel anything while I'm half dead. Then suddenly, this employee asked me, "Ma'am, ready na po kayo?" 

AFTER THAT ENCOUNTER WITH THE BLOODSUCKER, I FINALLY BECAME AWARE THAT I AM VERY MUCH AFRAID OF NEEDLES. EVEN THIS LITTLE LEECH-LIKE PRICKS ARE ALSO MADDENING. OMG. WHAT WILL I DO NEXT FRIDAY? O C'MON.

Haha. I got this from http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Twilight and I laughed all the way until the last word. Haaha. Sorry to all the Twilight fans but there are also other people who find twilight f*cking cr*ppy. So, to neautralize all the reactions, there should be balance. Haha. Ok ok. So read. If you hate this post, then blame the site. not me. Haha.

This page contains spoilers — Important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT Jacob rapes Bella's daughter, Bella almost dies but becomes a vampire, she lives happily ever after with Edward!!!1

Twilight, along with its cash-cow sequels New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn is a four novel long, vampireromance series for young adults by hack writer Stephenie Meyer, who successfully proves that Mormons cannot write good fiction for shit.

Chock-full of one-dimensional characters and completely devoid in originality, it reads like a 12-year-old's fanfiction, or Anne Rice for teenyboppers. Nothing within the series can even vaguely be compared to the term "well-written." Instead, the books are a regurgitation of every vampire cliché known to man, simply copying and pasting every online vampire novel together until it would appeal to any girl that read it.

The entire series reeks of cobbled Mary Suefanfiction, using the horrible wet dreams of an angsty Harry Potter fan as the glue for a contrived plot. Since the Mormon writer does not want to write blasphemy is fucking retarded, she decides to change the rules, such that vampires 'sparkle' in the light instead of die. Some argue that reading Twilight is much like eating cake: it seems good at the time, then you go to the mirror to see your disgusting whale-self and expel the contents. Unfortunately, unlike purging WHAT HAS BEEN READ CANNOT BE UNREAD. So make an effort to avoid at all costs.

Each sequel is significantly longer than the previous one, leaving sane people to wonder how Stephenie can say so little in 400-900 pages. The majority of the books are made of dialogue, allowing each chapter to sound like a drama-filled role-playing session (which the fangirls are probably very familiar with) and also fucking up the book's concept of time. For example, within the course of a five minute conversation, the characters are able to order, eat, and pay for dinner at a restaurant.

More than half of Twilight is just characters giving wry smiles, chuckling, hissing, glaring, flaring nostrils and raising eyebrows during some vapid, angsty conversation. The stories are written in first person, from Bella Swan's point of view -- but since she's completely lacking in any characteristics, its easy for the reader to forget.

If you want to know just how horrible Twilight is, it's on par with Tara Gilesbie's masterpiece My Immortal, only with spell check and a sad attempt at trying to disguise unoriginal ideas. The maddening thing is that Twilight isn't rotting on fanfiction.net like it should be, but making millions of cash monies. The author is in Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People, because apparently catering to the fantasies of fuglygothgirls who wouldn't know a good book if it hit them in the face makes you noteworthy. For some reason, there is no Rule 34 of Twilight yet seen, thank fuck.

I don't want to study anymore.

Why do I have to study the things that I will not be using in the future? Why would they teach complicated things when in fact, basics are not even mastered yet? Why do I have to memorize all these things that I will forget sooner or later? Why do I have to sing the national anthem with a different language when in fact, I still forget some of the lines in my own country's anthem? Why is the education system in the Philippines so pressuring? It's like I'm always being stuffed with things then after a month or two, I'll be empty again.

If only I could have money without working so hard (that would be billions), I will not study anymore. Yup. You got that right. I can educate myself with books and experience, thank you.

A FAILURE.

I think I am one. From the day I learned about my abilities, I became glad because I could do these things that others are not capable of doing but being glad is not the only thing that I could have done to harness these abilities. I wish I could have practiced more. I wish I could have became more serious. I wish... oh... what's the sense anyway? Hmmm...

I learned to dance when I was in grade 4 because my teacher asked me to dance since she probably thought I was a loser in class. Hahaha. But hey, when we performed, I was the best. Or so they say. Hahaha. Not to brag or anything, I think it's funny. Now, I cannot even dance well. I dunno. But I love dancing. But never had the chance to become better.

....
I learned to...

11 PM.
Still online. but my mind was already flying. my body already wanted to lie down.

5 AM.
I woke up. I found out that the computer is still on.

Another dream. This dreaming-of-him-thing has already turned into an everyday routine and it's going to be weird if I don't dream of him anymore.

http://fc82.deviantart.com/fs23/f/2007/335/b/8/White_Angel_by_ramy.jpg

Just when I thought that my feelings for him were only for friendship's sake, a light slumber made me think otherwise.

So there I was, with him again. i don't know why these dreams keep on coming. I started dreaming about him last sem. Really, you have no idea how I felt the first time I dreamed about him and I. He's this guy who's always by my side. Well, in my dreams, ok? Not really happening in real life. There, he was always hugging me. Always giving me that protection that feels like an angel wrapping his warm wings around me. This may seem odd. Really odd. I never felt anything romantic whenever we're together at all. This is in real life. Haha. Until one day, I suddenly had this feeling. I felt like I was going to explode upon seeing him. Oh c'mon. But it's true. The explosions kept on coming for a few weeks. I never turned red. I never blushed. I remained the same. Just wanted to act normal. But it's hard to do that. Especially when I realize sometimes that we really have no chance at all. He doesn't like me the way I like him. That sucks. So after realizing all that, the explosions subsided.  Hahaha. Reality check, of course. Then, just as I thought that I was ready to face him with a straight face (hoping to not fall for his jokes that I only laugh at not because they are funny because it's him who makes them), this straight face of mine smeared a crooked smile again. Oh c'mon. Haha. 
This time, I'm starting to really forget these feelings. OH I HATE LIKING PEOPLE. Inch by inch, I'm starting to gain my composure once again. There he is, just an inch farther. SO how do I react? I smile and act normal. But really, whenever I'm not with him, I feel weird. His presence is just... uhmmm... what can I say? Sometimes annoying. Sometimes, comforting. Oh I dunno! ! ! HAHA.

Please, make these feelings stop before the explosions come back again.

October 29, 2008

Paolo Bediones and Iya Villania joined us in the plane. Iya was very pretty even without make up. Paolo was tall, dark and dashing. Too bed he's already kinda old for me hehehe. He's tall. I felt so tiny when I saw him walking behind me. I was a foot or more shorter than him. T_T hahaha...

After the 50-minute flight, we arrived in Legazpi. Wow. The MaYon is majestic. Still the 'perfect cone' that it's supposed to be.
As I went to our car, I saw this guy who was not that tall. Probably 5'6? He was fair-skinned, with cool clothes on, with an intoxicating smile and an angelic face to match that. Oh. It was Enchong Dee. Oh yeah, he's hot.

We ate in Jollibee. Then went home after that. It was an hour and a half ride from Legazpi to Sorsogon so I slept throughout the trip. When I woke up, we were finally home.
I watched tv. Slept again from 9 to 1.

This morning, we had our enrolment. We only have 25 regular students left in our section. Whoooo... The 3b5 population is already coming to extinction. HAhaha.

MONDAY

Phys201     7 to 9 am
Bio601        10 to 1pm

Tuesday

Eng108         7 to 8:30am
Chem600     8:30 to 10am
Zoo302         10 to 11am
Chem600L  1 to 4 pm
Spn2              4 to 5:30

Wednesday

Phys201L    9 to 12pm
Phys201      12 to 2pm

THURSDAY

Eng108         7 to 8:30am
Chem600     8:30 to 10am
Zoo302         10 to 11am
Chem600L  1 to 4 pm
Spn2              4 to 5:30

FRIDAY

Bio301L     7 am to 1 pm

The enrolment process was quite quick. Buti na lang. I really hate waiting in line or anything like that so I'm quite relieved that I didn't undergo such pissing process. Hahaha.

So there, the enrolment was at 10 but I arrived at 5 after ten and went to the main building. On the way, I met Alex and Robby. Of course, they are always together. Inseparable. I checked over our names in the lists that were posted on a huge board in front of the building. Only 25 regular students for 3Bio5. Hmmm... The second less populated section in 3rd year biology. Then the rain started pouring. Haha. Migs texted, asking where we were so I told him I was alone and I begged him to come over to where I was because I didn't have an umbrella. Hahaha. And it was already 10:15. I went inside and saw Genie! hehehe! I missed Genie! Then she said she was quite in a hurry to enrol so I let her go while I went to the CR. Minutes passed Migs hasn't arrived yet. So I decided I didn't need his umbrella and headed to the front of the gym. After a few steps (I was walking with my eyes on the floor) somebody said, "psst." or was that "hoy". I don't remember. Then it was Migs. Hahaha. Well, he didn't have an umbrella with him. T_T. As we walked, we saw Genie walking again and walked with her. Tagal tlaga ni Genie maglakad oh. Hehehe. Then she said that she was going to take her PE since she dropped it. Then we walked there. I saw Recey and Jelo and Alaina by the burger-donut-pizza stands. Then I also saw Camille R., Krizia and the others sa may tents. And I was quite shocked because there wasn't any line! YEY! I really hated falling in line!




I have to go.. gotta sleep! i'll continue this next time!